Being in slow motion

Hi Everyone,I’m a new here and I think have major problem about my approach to fitness.About two years ago I was my normal 53-55 kilos [with my 156 cm body height]. I was eating healthy between 1200-1600 calories a day, mostly fresh veggies, fruits and whole grain as well as some Protein shake every other day. Most meals I have had were home made and organic, except when I went out for dinner. I also had one dessert each week, and some chocolate Pudding almost daily to curb my unusually high “chocolate cravings”. That was about two years ago.Today I have about 10 kilos [20 pounds] of excess body fat and I find it hard to follow through my fitness regimen. Back then I did a lot of stuff, different workouts every day, lots of cardio to complement my healthy lifestyle. Today I do almost nothing. If I do some fitness, I really have to drag myself to do 35 minutes cardio, and that is it. My eating habits are more or less the same, but I had to cut some organic pantry stuff for cost reasons. I eat mostly home cooked meals, and try to start with veggies and fruits. My problem is that about 23 months ago, my boyfriend moved to an other state, very unexpectedly and he did not communicate the circumstances of that moving with me. We are still together, but at that time I started to decline in pretty much everything in my life. I even make less money that I used too, but I guess I can blame that one on the sluggish economy, right? Anyway, since he left I am struggling big time to stay on track with my fitness regimes and get motivation to get up and just exercise. I feel tired and sluggish at all times. I also have burst for about a week or two –tops- when I do a lot of exercises and I end up loosing about a pound, a pound and a half and also start to feel better. However, than I slip back. There is always something that comes up that blame. Last week I was at my second week of new regimen, lost a little weight, but I had to go to a minor surgery, which took me out of my regimen –or at least I think so. I gained that pound back easily and I am ashamed. Am I in serious mental disturbance or this is just laziness. I definitely don’t feel motivated. And what has the moving of my bf has to do with all his. Please, I need help to straighten my head, because I refuse to live like this forever. I just feel sad over my weight and my decline. Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

You should talk to your doctor and have a physical if you think you might be depressed.  If everything checks out o.k., or you hate doctors, best rx is exercise, a good diet, and friends to talk to.  Sometimes you just have to make yourself do something for a while in order to get into the habit; they say it takes about 21 days, or three weeks, to form a habit.  When I get like this, I dangle a carrot in front of myself, like a new pair of shoes, as a reward for following through.  Post your goals here, and you'll have plenty of people to answer to besides yourself, which can also be motivaing.  Hope you feel better soon.

Kayree, when he was still living here, he never tried to keep me on track and healthy. He liked the fact that I was exercising, he used to compliment me on that. The reason I was in good shape back then was that my life was easier, I made a lot of money, I did take care of a lot financial problems, and had a very good social life. My commitment was easy to fitness, and because I was happy and relaxed I probably had a very positive vibe, which I am thinking made it easier for me to fall in love. When he left, there was some shady details around his moving, and a lot of stuff are still unresolved in that department. Because of that lack of talks and chats as of what we will do about our relationship and how, I started to feel sad and uncared for. Now, he still loves me and since then we started to talk about things, but I am still in that limbo, well more or less. I want to find out why is this such a big deal for me, and what do associate my fitness with.
But as far it goes, he is not a healthy eater, but and adventurous one, so when we are together, he is eating better, to my convincing.

Regarding your hubby, I would cook healthy but wholesome and not be bothered much. Most men will eat whatever you put on the table, as long as there is some meat on the plate. Make a great and tasty salad, put in on the table along with his stake and let him serve himself. Men eat more simply because they are bigger and need more calories to get by. It's just simple biology. For energy, have you tried vitamin c or ginseng tea?

You said that when your friend left it had some shady details about the move. Do you think that he is shady? Do you think he took advantage of you, trust, your heart. If so and these I know are hard questions but sometimes when people take advantage of our heart, not only does it hurt but we tend to take it out on ourselves! How could they do that to me? And then we think of all the wrong thinks about ourselves and then we make thinks up about what is not right about ourselves. Well at least that is how I do it... Any way I am going through the same things, except the lab results from the doctor are saying you better do something and you better do it now, which is how I came to this site. I have to get on tract for myself and the reason I'm sharing is because you guessed it, I'm having a hard time getting off my butt and making myself count. I am married to a wonderful guy but he will love me no matter what and because of that I have let things go. Now I have to move and I'm asking myself am I enough to get myself moving? That is the question that you are faced with. I need a friend that I have to be accountable to, like I said my husband as wonderful as he is can not fill that spot. I need a workout buddy, and the problem with that is I don't have one. My friends are to busy most of them with younger children, I have on one left at home. Now I have to ask myself that question again am I enough!!!  So if anyone out there has answeres I'm ready to hear them. I am overweight and having health problems, I have no more time to set on the sidelines of my life!!!

Hi Nickly:  First thing is you cannot control anyone but yourself, you say your boyfriend moved without giving you notice, WHAT TYPE OF BOYFRIEND DOES THAT, I don't want to sound mean, but someone that cares about you as a person does not just up and leave. Secondly, you are an individual, stop letting others control your life, start to look within for assurance and not outside (your boyfriend) love your self first because until you do, no one else will.  You say your "Still together", ask your self a serious questions.... why would you want to be with a person like that, and then move on..... you cannot continue to let anyone control your emotions, think of how you will be 3 years from now if you keep this up, FOCUS ON YOURSELF, you can always get another boyfriend (believe me) so it's not the end of the world.  You know exercise makes you feel better, even if you just walk, when a stumbling block gets in your way, go around it, don't focus on how much weight you lost, focus on how you feel, the weight will come off if you are consistent!!!!  Focus on what you can control and that is your exercise workout, not your boyfriend, you cannot control him, but you can control you, don't look at the past, look at the future, you will see it is so much brighter, now get out there and KICK SOME EXERCISING BUTT!!!!  :-)